The world and society have become ever more complex and demanding. Many of our basic human needs for emotional well-being are not being properly met — from community and connection to a sense of control and purpose. This puts emotional pressure on all of us and our ability to cope. And inevitably it manifests in the workplace, with an estimated 1 million workers absent every day due to stress.

While learning and development (L&D) leaders and their teams may not be able to solve the problems of the world, (although on some days it might seem they are being asked to), there are ways we can help ourselves and others to become more resilient in the face of challenge and change.

Emotional intelligence (EI) and a positive mindset are valuable tools that support resilience. Emotionally intelligent individuals are likely to perform at their best and bring out the best in others, and EI has been linked to improved well-being, engagement, performance and productivity. The steps below provide insight, advice, and activities that L&D teams can use to help build EI.

1. Become aware of mindset.

Mindset describes a person’s attitudes toward themselves, others and the world in general. It has long been known that people are drawn to behave in ways that are consistent with their underlying attitudes or mindset. Therefore, to build EI and change behavior in the long-term, people must also change their mindset.

The first step to changing mindset is to become aware of it. Once someone becomes aware of their mindset, it ceases to be unconscious and automatic, and becomes open to question, deliberation and change.

Development Tips

• Notice what causes you stress and identify the initial triggers.
• Show yourself compassion and challenge your inner critic.
• Look after yourself physically and build in time for renewal.

2. Choose a positive mindset.

In nature, the species that lives to pass on its genes is the one that can instantly focus attention on any perceived threat. That’s why people naturally focus their attention more on the negative than the positive. During difficult times the brain switches to primitive survival mode — to protect and conserve.

To effectively navigate modern day difficulties and workplace challenges, individuals need to develop a more emotionally intelligent response that seeks opportunities and is creative — for a positive (thrive) not a negative (survive) mindset.

Development Tips

• Get into a habit of using more positive language when experiencing difficulties.
• Put strategies in place for success with specific goals and timeframes.
• Make time for and show appreciation of others.

3. Challenge a negative mindset.

The most common characteristic of a negative mindset is negative thinking, often the result of excessive emotion. If sufficiently strong, emotions can prevent us from engaging our rational thinking brain. Under such conditions we become less emotionally intelligent and less able to think clearly or solve problems. There are many effective techniques for countering negative thinking.

Development Tips

• Consider the advice you would give to someone in a similar situation.
• Rather than assuming the worst, consider alternative realistic explanations.

Recall past experiences. Often, they will have turned out better than you feared.

4. Create positive habits.

Habits are expressed as behaviors, emotions, and thoughts that are usually automatic and unconscious. And to develop EI in a way that is sustainable, it needs to become a habit.

The first step in changing a negative habit and becoming more emotionally intelligent is to become aware of the existing habit. The next step is to replace the unhelpful habit with a new and positive habit. For example, replace blaming others with showing appreciation, or replace self-criticism with self-compassion.

Development Tips

• Initially focus on one habit that you want to change.
• Consider what triggers this habit most often.
• Identify an alternative and repeat, rehearse and reinforce to make change stick.

5. Identify essential needs.

All living things have essential needs that must be met in order for them to thrive and flourish. Just as plants need light, water and nutrition, humans have emotional, social and physical needs to support their well-being.

When our basic needs are being met, we are likely to be happy and productive. When our human needs are not being met, we become less emotionally intelligent — unhappy, anxious, angry and defensive.

Development Tips

• Think about how your emotional, relational and physical needs are currently being met.
• Identify any gaps and basic needs you want to improve.
• Identify specific actions that would help meet your needs more fully.

6. Apply strengths.

Recognizing and utilizing your strengths can help you build EI. A strength is something we do well, do regularly, and find energizing when doing it. Learning leaders, for instance, might have strengths in areas like training facilitation or delivery.

Many of us do not appreciate or harness our innate resources. We often take our strengths for granted or assume that what we find easy so too does everyone else. However, if we focus more on improving weaknesses than utilizing our strengths, this may create a more negative mindset.

Development Tips

• List 10 things you enjoy doing in your role.
• List 10 things you do well in your role.

Consider how your strengths help meet your emotional, social and physical needs.

7. Invest in relationships.

Our EI is closely related to how we feel about ourselves, which is largely determined by the interaction and communication we have with others. Every interaction we have will to some degree affect how we feel about ourselves and others.

Communication is highly reciprocal, how we behave toward others will greatly influence how others interact with us. If we express appreciation and value toward others, it is likely to not only boost their self-esteem, but also to be reciprocated — which can boost our EI.

Development Tips

• Adopt a compassionate approach toward yourself and others.
• Check within yourself that you have positive intentions before communicating.

Seek to understand how others feel and suspend your judgment.

8. Picture success.

A powerful way of creating a positive mindset is through visualization. When we close our eyes and visualize ourselves doing an action our brain fires off the same neurons as if we were actually doing it, laying down and reinforcing new neural pathways.

Through mental rehearsal and practice, neural networks become embedded and will be triggered automatically when we take our first step in the process. In effect, our imagination is a reality generator turning our positive expectations into reality.

Development Tips

• Think about a goal or outcome you want to achieve.
• Close your eyes and picture yourself doing this to the best of your ability.

Pay attention to the details — what do you do, who is there, how do you do it?

9. Take action.

Articles like this are full of good intentions but all too often they don’t lead to any real action. Many of us will recognize that the first few minutes of exercise can be the most difficult, or sitting down to type the first few words is the most painful part. So, the final piece of advice to build EI is: Take the first step.

The first step in the process should be the first objective — whether that is taking the step yourself or supporting others to do so. Taking the first step will lead to the second step, partly because our automatic procedural brain will then take over. What is one small action you will commit to every day to build your EI as a learning leader?